MUSING
a diary entry :)
I think it’s crazy and somewhat bittersweet that the final form of every moment, experience, phase, season, knowledge acquired, and even a person experienced is a memory.
I was walking to the restroom the other day and had a sudden flashback. A memory from secondary school barged into my mind (the exact moment, I can’t recall), but I thought to myself,
“This memory was once a moment. A very real moment, a moment I was once present in.”
This thought made me do a quick recap of my secondary school years, mistakes, lessons and all.
Now, when it comes to secondary school, I’ve made my fair share of mistakes (some grave, some minor). Lost friends, made friends, been betrayed, made reckless decisions, loved, nearly died from illness, been bullied (over man o! story for another day mbok). But best believe I got the full package—maybe minus jumping fence (dear family, if you see this, this is all fiction.)
Omo! It was sha a lot, and even if you gave me 10 million naira (not saying dollar cause then I’d consider it, so for the sake of emphasis let’s use naira), I wouldn’t want to relive those days. Currently avoiding anything that’ll take me back there, but I digress.
These somewhat canon events in my life were more than just moments then. They were my reality, a reality I was once fully present in. A physical reality that I could feel, touch, and experience.
But like every other, its final form is a memory before it is then murdered by forgetfulness.
Every feeling and thought that came along with it is now a memory that I revisit now and then, often unwillingly.
This fact fascinates and scares me at the same time.
My current reality will someday be nothing more than a memory.
Not just the experience itself but everything tied to it, physically and emotionally. The clothes I wore, pictures I took, and books I wrote in will all just be evidence of a reality once lived saturated by the scent of a past.
Eish!
Has this thought or something similar ever crossed your mind?
Did you ever jump your school fence?
Tell me all about it, I’m living to hear it :)
Xoxo, eti.